Stark Naked in Public

Okay, I've published 22 books and I'm nervous as all get out over the book due on shelves in a week. STILL IRRESISTIBLE is the title. The cover's pretty good, right? The story's emotional and has mystery and humor. All good. So what's the problem?

The women in my exercise classes recently have discovered I'm a writer and are clamoring to know when and where to find my next book. I told them and now they might buy and read the thing.

I feel like I do in those dreams where you show up at school stark naked. Completely, um, exposed. Will they like it? Will they tell me? What if no one says a word? Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Such is human nature, I guess.

And, speaking of human nature, I recently got hooked up on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and eHarlequin, chatting away like a maniac. As I face those "what are you doing now?" queries each morning, I realize how utterly boring I am.

What am I doing? The usual: Writing, fighting writing, worrying about writing, revising writing, with an occasional "waiting for word from my editor or agent on my writing."

Who wants to read about that?

Though when I accidentally deleted an hour's worth of new writing on a synopsis and reported it on Facebook, I got several frantic posts of concern, and suggestions to hit "control Z" before it was too late! Very sweet, I thought. People care about frustrations and loss and want to help where they can. I find that comforting.

What other updates scored major comment? My post-martini misery, my jones for Paradise Bakery cookies, and my sick cat. At least I know we all know what's important.

I had a blast with "20 random things about me," tagging friends and getting tagged back. I'm impressed with all the wisdom and wide-ranging life experiences my friends have had.

What are your favorite updates? Do social networks help you stay close or irritate the crap out of you?

Oh, and, what are you doing right now?

Best,

Dawn Atkins

www.dawnatkins.com

Books Came Early--Let's Celebrate

Turns out that my April Blaze--here's the cover--is actually out in March, which is way cool, but also nerve-wracking because I haven't sent in an update for my Web site and I've been telling readers it's April, not March. Yikes!

So, in honor of my boo-boo and the always-exciting arrival of a box of author books, I'd like to give away 5 of these babies.

The story is about a Manhattan events planner who must return to her small town in southern Arizona to rescue her father's failing guest ranch...oh, and fall in love again with the guy she had a brief high school fling with, the foreman of the ranch.

There's suspense and humor and, of course, plenty of naked fun.

If you're interested in winning a copy of STILL IRRESISTIBLE, tell me what influences you most to buy a book: fave author, cover, back blurb, first page. If you saw MY cover, would you want to buy the book?

All my best,

Dawn, who has her box of books at her side
www.dawnatkins.com

Someone Else's Pain

My 18-year-old son got his heart broken recently and I was reminded of something my husband said when we were contemplating having a child:
"Why would you bring into the world someone whose pain you'll feel more acutely than your own?"
I hate it when he's right. My entire body aches for my son, who's so puzzled because there was no sign of impending trouble, so he was caught off guard. The girl's confused and wants to be friends, but each encounter tears another hole in his heart.

My son is pretty stoic about his troubles, but after working an entire shift with her he called to ask me to wait up, if I could, so he could talk about it. He has always hated any of my questions about his social life. To ask for my support this way tells me he's hurting a great deal.

Of course I'm honored he trusts me enough to turn to me, but I so want to help him. What can I do to ease his pain?

I listened, I supported, I gave gentle advice, reminding him this is no reflection on his character or attractiveness, that he's been a terrific boyfriend, that he has to decide whether it's more painful to spend time with her as a friend than to go it alone. I told him that like everything in life, his feelings will change. It just takes time.

Still, I want to take this all away. Of course pain is part of life, but I somehow want to guard him a little longer. I guess that's a parent's eternal dream.

If only there were a guide for parents: "How to handle your child's heartbreak." Maybe I should get on that. Right now I'm going to pound a pillow and yell it all out.

Best,
Dawn Atkins
www.dawnatkins.com

My very own bare-chested cowboy

Here it is, the cover of my April Blaze, Still Irresistable, about Callie Cunningham, a Manhattan events planner who must turn her father's failing guest ranch into a desert getaway and hooks up again with a high school love, Declan O'Neill.

I have to say this cover goes well with the story, though Deck never wanders around half naked. Well, there are those scenes in the hot springs...but I digress.

The desert hills in the background are important to the story and Callie and Deck's relationship, so I'm quite happy about it.

What do you think? This is only the second cowboy book I've written. Do readers still like a cowboy on the cover?

Here's hoping they do!
Dawn

Floggings will continue until morale improves

Which works better, the carrot or the stick?

I have mixed feelings--oh, yeah? So what's new, Ms. Ambivalence? The carrot is much more pleasant and fun. Who doesn't like a nice juicy goal to strive for? But fearing that stick, the whack across the butt when you're lazy or screwing up, that can be very motivating.

Supposedly, according to behavior modification theory, positive reinforcement results in bigger gains that become permanent. Fear of negative reinforcement, or punishment, has more immediate results, but they don't last. Once the stick is gone, the mice will play, to mix metaphors.

Let's take a real life example. I take classes at my gym with two teachers. Both classes are fun and challenging and exhausting. One teacher teases and goads and jokes you into pushing harder, striving to get past that burn to greater strength and endurance--"Come on, you can do it, i know you can, just 8 more reps!"

The other takes a harsher approach--"Don't blow it, don't be weak, you're struggling? Too bad, don't stop, come on. Push yourself. Get with it." She shames you into pushing harder.

Over this holiday period, it's been damn tough to keep my motivation to exercise high and my cookie consumption low. So twice this week I was just too tired, too sluggish, too hungover from carbs and wine to make my class. One time I went. One time I didn't.

Each time I thought about what the class would be like. In the end, I went to the carrot lady's class because I knew that even if I didn't do my best, she'd make me glad I came. I skipped the stick lady's class because I didn't want to feel like a loser.

I might have pushed harder in the stick-lady's class--I would have, being ashamed to show weakness--but I WENT to the kinder class. Because I knew I'd feel good no matter how hard I worked. Even if I barely moved, I'd have done SOMEthing good.

There's my answer. I might work harder with a stick at my back, but I'll enjoy it more and stay with it longer if it's a carrot I'm after, not a stick I'm avoiding.

How about you? Are you a carrot or stick person? And what, specifically, are your carrots and sticks--rewards and punishments--when you're doing something difficult?

Here's to 2009! I wish for you all that you wish for yourself.

Best,

Dawn

New Year's Suggestions

New Year's Resolutions--Can't live with 'em, can't tear 'em up and leave 'em at the side of the road.

I'm in a quandary about New Year's goals--I don't call them resolutions any more. Sounds too grim. For the last few years, I've taken some time each New Year's Eve day to look over the goals I set the previous year, analyze my success, then write a new set of goals. When I've achieved the items, I'm thrilled. When I've failed, abject misery and self-flagellation commences.

After a year filled with with family trauma, where several goals went right out the window, I'm afraid I'll be just too blue looking at all I failed to achieve. That's no way to start a fresh year.

That new mainstream project I was supposed to finish? Didn't touch it. The suspense that should have been sold by now? Out for critique. That regular meditation, daily fresh writing I swore I'd do? Didn't happen.

So I have some choices to make. Don't even look at last year's list? Start fresh? Or, make the new list so easy I can't fail? Things like: eat three meals, check e-mail, meet contract deadlines. That's lame. But I don't want to face a new year feeling like I blew the previous one. Already, I grasp at each passing week, trying to squeeze out a little extra time as it flies by.

The other problem is that even though I post the list in my line of sight at the computer, I RARELY read the damn thing. You can't achieve goals you don't keep top of mind, right? So that's not good either.

So, I'm thinking of changing my approach. I'll make a list of New Year's Suggestions: For example: "Consider spending an extra writing hour a day working on new projects. If you feel like it. If it's comfortable. If not, no sweat. Who cares? No biggie...."

Feels lame, like I expect to fail, right? Except I'm using reverse psychology. "You know you'll never do this, you lazy fool." Them's fightin' words. I can feel the fire stoking. You're damn straight I can do that. With one hand tied behind my back and my eyes closed!

Hmm, already it seems to be working.

Give it a try. Give yourself some New Year's Suggestions. I'd love to hear your plans or how you approach the Old Year/New Year conundrum. Maybe you treat it as the Buddhists do: "All is unfolding as it should."

Best,

Dawn

http://www.dawnatkins.com/

Christmas Card Hell

I want to talk about Christmas cards. I'm not good with them. I'm kind of schizoid.

I LOVE getting them from friends and family, especially when they write a brief catch-up note, too. I love the mass-produced Christmas letters, too.

I'm not good at sending them. It's intimidating. I want it to be personal. I used to spend weeks doing it, selecting just the right photo for close friends.

The best I manage these days is "defensive card-giving," writing back to everyone who sends me a card.

For the last three years since, I've sent out very few cards at all. I had excuses--family crises, impossible deadlines, SOMEthing. I keep up a decent email correspondence with people I love. Friends have found me through Facebook and that's cool.

This year I have no excuse except a sense of despair. I feel like if I can't write a decent note, I shouldn't send a card and that's a lot of notes. I'm daunted.

My laziness is catching up with me. This year, we've only received a handful of cards. Does that mean our friends have crossed us off their list--determined we're the ungrateful slobs we are? As I stare into my empty mailbox I feel like the bad girl with coal in her stocking.

Do young people (21-30) even SEND cards? Or do they simply twitter their greetings?

What do you think about the Christmas card tradition? How do you handle it? How do you feel about people you never hear from? What about email cards? Yes or no? Cool or lazy? What would Emily Post say? I'm afraid to know.

Here's hoping your Christmas card status is green all the way! And if you're waiting by your mailbox for one from me....ulp.

Now back to this book that will not END.

All my Best,

Dawn